2003-05-28 4:25 p.m.

Today hasn't been so bad. I did get some good news, which is I am getting a bonus. And of course in my brain I have it all spent already. 1st, I need to get Jeanette her $$, then get the tape in the mail to Moe. I may have the $$ to do that before the bonus gets here - in two weeks - but low funds on top of my extreme slackness, well... hopefully it will be soon. Also, I got some advice from Jenn about my recent health-rant, so I'm going to check into that & hopefully that will be a big yay.

I got an e-mail from Mark yesterday - a once-upon-a-time dear friend, when we were in our late teens. Now he's somewhere between aquaintance & almost friend. Nothing bad happened we just lost touch. Now he's married & lives in Durham. And he just bought a super new awesome motorcycle!

I talked to Jody a lot today. We talked quite a bit about me moving back to the east coast. I know I've not even been here a year, and the time I've got to spend with David has been great, but.... I don't know. I know San Diego's too expensive for me. That's a given. But there just seems like there's a lot more to the west coast that I haven't got to experience yet. But then I start thinking about my niece and I miss her a ton. Then I think about the fact that my sister is pregnant again.... so that's two lives I'm going to be missing out on. Plus Matt keeps going on and on about how great NYC is. He hasn't said "you should move here," only that if I were to move there, that I'd probably really enjoy it. Plus, big Rockapella bonus which is always good. But then Jody goes on and on about how great Atlanta is. Then I have to remind him that I've been to Atlanta about 20 times in my life and it's really not that great. And of course there's always the DC option. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

But, and this is my total insanity talking, I've discovered the guy whom I think is the perfect guy for me and he is here in California. But of course he does not share my opinion that he & I'd be perfect together. In fact I'm quite sure the thought of "us" has never crossed his mind at all. He just thinks of me as "David's friend Tonya." Damnit. But I'm telling you, he's perfect. But given his total lack of noticing me, I don't think my theory on him being the perfect guy for me should have any influence on the decision. Damnit. I hate being rational.

Last night I was watching The Family Guy on Adult Swim (cartoon network). That show is so damn funny. When it started it had a little cartoon "Dennis Miller Show" where Dennis says: I don't want to rant here, but.... and of course goes into the usual DM 20 dollar words and references that only people in college or with PHDs know... And Peter says "What does Rant mean?" *g* Ok, maybe if I could remember all the DM part that would be more funny, but watching it, it was hilarious.

Ok, I'm done ;-)