2003-06-24 3:52 p.m.

It was so cool to come in this morning and see those 2 notes :-) Of course I realize, even more how much I suck, because how often do I read something in someone's diary and think about e-mailing them. Pretty much on a daily basis I see something where I say I'm going to e-mail, or leave a note, yet I don't do it. Man, I'm so self-involved!

So in an attempt to be less self involved, here are some comments on recent stuff I've read. Maybe if I start with this I'll get better about commenting actually to others instead of just in here:

Moe wrote the sweetest thing about her dad and Father's Day. It was so sweet it made me cry.

Pat got a Red Elvises CD!!! And, the best Red Elvises CD. YAY :-) Those guys rock.

I hope Angela finds time to watch Buffy DVD S4. {{The audio commentary on Wild At Heart is SO funny :-) }}

I wish Jennifer didn't have to be scared & I do hope she doesn't have to have the full surgery. I remember being in the sterile room, looking at the clock, waiting to be rolled into the room for the actual surgery. I've never been more scared, before or after. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.

Sometimes I wish I lived in NYC had a group of friends that all lived in the NY area & we could go to broadway shows or just out to eat. But the idea of the NY subway system scares the shit out of me & I don't think I'd survive having roommates (cause they'd both kill me deader than hell), but I'm envious of opportunities these gals have to hang together. They've worked hard to make it happen for themselves so they certainly deserve it!

Madelin is just funny as hell. I've never met her, I don't think. I'm so glad that I got to meet Jenn, Amy & Sue in Atlanta, but I still want to meet more people. (which is why I need to go to STL, I know)

Sue was in an X-Files comic. Sue was in an X-Filex comic? How damn cool is that??

liliclown (Jen) says "bloody" all the time. I just love that.

Ok, I know there's lots more, but my brain is just useless for remembering lots of stuff. So starting tomorrow, notes!!! I can do it!

But today, since I am still self-absorbed, I'll talk more about me. In order to try to trick my brain into not being depressed, I've been on a music kick today. I've spent vast quantities of time on Kazaa. And if you're one of those people who think downloading music of the internet is horrible, you might want to stop reading now. Cause I don't think it's horrible. And there are artists I wouldn't do it with. Pella, Sean, basicly any a capella group because I know they don't have the multi-million dollar salaries. Red Hot Chili Peppers, yeah I think they'll be ok.

Anyway, lots of downloading today. I bought "By The Way" by back in March, as soon as it came out because I'd heard the single "By the Way" & I freakin love it. So what do I do? I loose the CD when I was in NC on vacation. So the couple of songs off that CD I loved I've downloaded. But I have all their other CDs so nothing else from them.

Also, FOO FIGHTERS!!! I love those guys so very much. Plus "All My Life" just seems so appropriate today. I did 4 of their songs. I know I love more than those 4, but the 4 I did were the only one's I can remember the names of. 3 from Godsmack. Godsmacks a pretty far cry from Rockapella. Once when David & I were in Vegas & Voodoo came on the radio & I cranked it, he just looked at me like I was insane. But that's a cool damn song. As is "Doing the Best That I Can" and "I Fucking Hate You."

What else? Um... A couple Beck songs, a couple Wierd Al songs (he's so fun :-) and "Why I'm Here" by Oleander - also keeping with the depression theme.

The most mood-appropriate song of the day was "Unwell" by Matchbox 20....

All day staring at the ceiling

Making friends with shadows on my wall

All night hearing voices telling me

That I should get some sleep

Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on

Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown

And I don't know why

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired

I know right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public

Dodging glances on the train

And I know, I know they've all been talking about me

I can hear them whisper

And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me

Out of all the hours thinking

Somehow I've lost my mind

[Chorus]

I've been talking in my sleep

Pretty soon they'll come to get me

Yeah, they're taking me away

[Chorus]