2003-11-20 11:17 a.m.

Destiny 5.8

Written by David Fury and Steven S. DeKnight

Directed by Skip Schoolnik

Teaser:

Royal London Hotel, London

1880

Newly made William and New Mom Drucilla walk into a posh hotel room being all smoochie. The Dead Owners are sitting on the couch and Dru lets us know that Angelus killed them. William: "Who's Angelus?" and cue the shadows. You know I never noticed how much "Angelus" sounds like "jealous". Given the glares going on between the Testosteron Boys, it seems so obvious.

Bad Irish Accent is back, although a little improved & Darla is out for the evening. Angelus takes Willy's measure, then grabs his arm and puts his hand in the sunlight. Um, 'kay. He lets go, puts his own in the sunlight & says how he thinks it'd be cool the have a guy pal to share in the killing of innocents. Willy steps up to the Macho Challenge and puts is hand back in the sun (Men are Nuts BTW). Of course this leads to the bonding and Angelus says "you and me! we're going to be the best of friends."

Flash forward to today & Wolfram & Hart's lobby. Angel: "get the hell away from me". Spike: "would that I could you big ape!" Spike's griping because he wants an office. In fact he wants Wes's, since Wes is gone. Wes isn't gone, he's on Leave of Absence (really he took time off to marry his real life honey Ally :-). Harmony has mail for Spike. She opens the box, there's a flash & the box is empty. Harm goes to answer the phone & gets an ear full of shrill & Spike walks smack into Angel's door. He's solid! and cue credits....

Act 1

Spikes euphoric that he's solid and Angel's the not too happy recipient. A: "stop touching me!" Spike takes his coffee cup and downs it... S: "Is this otter?" ;-) Harmony comes over to complain that the phones and computers are all wacky. Spike immediately starts coming on to her. At first she's "get off!" but he compliments her skirt & she's off for a long lunch.

flashback: Male bonding again over Angelus killing a bride and groom during their wedding. Dead Bride's still in the carriage. But William says he wants to go find Dru. By Angelus's look, there's tension already. William says how Dru's his "Destiny".... "it's like she's got a bit of the child still in her." A: "perhaps 2 or 3 by now." Angelus stops the carriage so Willy can go hunt for his honey. end flashback

Spike and Harm kick some guy out of his office. Office guy goes to talk to a guy at the copy machine. He turns around and is bleeding from the eyes and screaming how no one ever replaces the toner. So he beats office guy to death with a fire extinguisher. Nice, huh? Back in Angel's office Gunn fills Fred in on how Blondie Bear's all solid again. She's a little wiggy and then in walks Eve. Again. Damn I hate her. But of course she's got the info (of sorts): "It's a harbinger.... we've got trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Prophecy {I love Music Man Refs}.... Shanshu.

Seems that now there are 2, physically solid, Vamp Champions with a Soul & therein lies the problem & it's messing with the world. Fred gets all accusie with Eve, that she knew this would happen, but Eve plays innocent. Yeah, right.

Back to Spike and Harmony doing the nasty. Harm seems like she's changing her mind, then all of sudden she's bleeding from the eyes and decides to start snacking. On Spike's neck....

Act 2

Harm totally goes off on Spike. "I'm not yours. Using me! Making me think, feel... like yours. YOU! You dont' want me! You want your Slayer Whore!!" The whole time Spike's trying to talk her down but then she attacks. So Spike knocks her out.

We see that Lorne got a bit of the crazy-copy-dude's rage (he wrote Toner on the wall in blood! too funny :-) Angel decideds to seal the building "closing pandora's box" - that fits. Eve starts again with the blah-blah-blah. The fabric of reality is tearing and it all comes down to Angel and Spike. There can only be one candidate for Shanshu. Spike says no problem, he's outy, but Eve stops him. Says its not that simple. Gunn reappears, totally freaked. Seems he went to the White Room to chat with the Cat. Cat's gone, White Room's gone. E: "that means there's no contact with the Senior Partners. Just a big tear in the Universe."

The gang goes to talk to Sirk - he's like Wesley's dad but 100% more of an ass. He revisits the Shanshu. Turns out there's a Cup of Prepetual Torment. Which ever Vamp with a Soul drinks from the cup is the one who gets to be human. Apparently the Cup is in Nevada, in an Opera house that got burried in an earthquake in 1938. Turn around, where's Spike? Oh, he's roadtrippin' in a Viper. Angel chases and calls Blondie on the cell:

A: You took my Viper

S: My Viper mate. Possession in nine-tenths. You ought to know that running a law firm...... (asserts how he's The One for the Shanshu) all these years thinking you were the Signified Monkey. Turns out you're just a big hunk of Nobody Cares.

Spike starts doing the cell phone static/breaking up thing. Too funny.

Back at the office, Gunn's calling Eve on always being around when the wacky evil happens. Cute background of the guy coming toward them with an axe, but just a tad bit too much like Buffy aiming the rocket launcher at Principal Wood.

Back in Nevada, there's the Opera house. So tell me, if Angel said it was buried in a quake, why it now above ground, in perfect, yet dusty condition?

flashback: William walks in on Angelus having sex with....... Drucilla. He's crushed. And to top it off Angelus mocks Willy telling him earlier that Dru's his "destiny". Nice guy that Angelus. end flashback

Angel finds the cup, al la the Lamp in Aladin, and Spike's 2 steps behind. Angel: "so what do we do now?" Spike: {sigh} (back hands Angel across the room) "What do you think?"

Act 3

Big fight scene. I think this is how we start every act 3 lately. But great special effects. Spike points out how he fought for his soul, but Angel's is a curse. Spike got his because he knew it was the right thing to do. So he's the one. It's his Destiny. Angel: "Really? I heard it was just to get into a girl's pants."

Back at the lab, Gunn goes all red eyed and bleedy, chokes Eve (yay), and smacks Fred when he tries to stop her. But Fred clocks him back and knocks him out.

Back to the boys and the rebarb fight.... more great special effects and these two are beating the crap out of each other. Spike: "you're not going to win this time!" This time? Angel says What are you going to do about it Willy?

flashback: William's crushed by Dru & Angel's betrayal. He rushes and Angelus but Angelus sits him down and explains the deal. A: "there's no belonging or deserving anymore. You take what you want, have what you want. But nothing is yours. Not even her." Then he advises Willy to get a new name, one thats less wussy, goes back to Dru and says "if you want her, come and take her..." end flashback

Spike gets all psych 101 on Angel saying how Angel hates Spike because every evil thing Spike did is Angel's fault. Dru might have turned him, but Angel groomed him. All he ever wanted was to see his disgusting reflection in Spike. That way, if there were two of them, Angel could live with himself. But Spike declares "I'm nothing like you!" Angel: "no, you're less than me. That's why Buffy never really loved you. Because you weren't me." Below the Belt much? So of course that leads to Vamp Face.... and a commerical break.

Act 4:

Oh, Poor Eve. She's all pouty cause everyone hates her. Boo-fucking-whoo. "I'm not the bad guy" yeah. whatever.

Back to S/A, actual surpise, Spike ends up on top. I mean it's Angels show, so you'd think he wins. But no. But Spike doesn't dust Angel, but only cause he would want to tell Buffy that he had. Spike goes for the Cup, but Angel calls out to him: "wait! That's not some prize you're holding. It's not a trophy. It's a burden. A cross. One you'll have to bear until it burns you to ashes..... so ask yourself.... do you really want it? Or do you just want to take something away from me?

Spike: "bit of both" and he drinks from the cup. pause, drops the cup, it falls in slow-mo. pause. Spike: "it's....{dramatic pause}.. Mt. Dew?"

Back to the lab at W&H. Fred sees Angel walk in all bloody "God! What happened." A: "I fell down.... some stairs. big stairs." Funny. Then presto-chango, all the bloody eyed people are all better. And Sirk, the ass-hole who sent the boys off on a wild goose chase "gone. Cleared out his office & pulled a puff of smoke."

Coda

Eve: "Senior Partners stepped in. Apparently they were working on the problem since it started." They've temporarily balanced the equilibrium & are just as clueless about Sirk. But she tells them not to worry about that because they still have to worry about 1 Shanshu, 2 Vampires. "I guess that's a question for another day."

so how pissed am I right now. Here I'd pegged this as a stand out ep & they give it a week ending like this? Spike's going to get drunk, Angels whining to Gunn about how Spike beat him & what it means. "what if it means I'm not the one?" And i thought this would be the end.

BUT WAIT!!!! There's more. cut to some wall with some freaky symbol on it. In walks Eve. Turns out there are freaky symbols on all the walls. Eve starts giving a report out to someone off camera. "They totally fell for the cup thing, just like you thought they would... Sirk pulled off his vanishing act right under the Senior partner's noses (takes off shoes.... takes off her dress).... You might be happy to know that Team Angel's on Red Alert (takes off undies)... and by the way, Spike didn't kill Angel... (takes off bra), but they did beat each other to bloody pulps."

She slides into the bed, under the covers, camera pans right and Oh My Freaking God!!! It's Lindsay!!!! Eve is cuddling with Lindsay. My teeth bout fell out of my head when my jaw hit the floor. Of course on screen there's a long pause because geeks like me are totally freaking. Finally Lindsay says "Well... It's a start" grins.... and fade to black. Pure genius!

Of course there's no previews and next week will be a non-angel thing because of the holiday. But OMG, How Freaking Cool! I love Lindsay. He's awesome. Just what I needed for this amazingly stressful week. And now, I'm a mere day and 1/2 from getting to see Rockapella. How Happy am I? Try Uber-Very!!!!!