2003-07-08 5:15 p.m.

Netty has a diary! Yay! I feel like I never have time to e-mail anyone anymore. So when people write diary entries I don't feel as Out-of-the-Loopy (BQ) as I actually am. BQ is Buffy Quote. I figure I'll save a lot of time with that.

I wish it were August. August 7th to be exact. And for 2 reasons. 1 - Because then I would know for certain that my October plans are going to come to BE definate. Right now I'd say I'm about 90% certain. And that's a 90% formulated in a non-crack-smoking environment. Crack-smoking increases it to 500% directed all at me and only at me. Get it? FIVE hundred? *snerk*

Oh Lordy, I slay me. "I slay me" is also a quote, not of Buffy land, oddly enough - what with slay in there - but I have no clue where I got it. But anyway, I make myself laugh. And it's probably a good thing very few people read this, else I'd get cussed out quite a lot for being the Evil Bitch Monster that I am.

Reason 2 for wanting it to be August 7th, Pretty much now (BQ) is because Time Spent With Pat & Netty would be imminent! (is that how you spell imminent?) It'd be close. I'M SO EXCITED!!! Maybe I should get a shirt that says "Evil Bitch Monster" so Pat will know how to recognize me....

Jody called me yesterday on his way to Charleston. I wonder how hard-core his accent is when he's with the family. I'd love to meet his Grandma. And have some of her fried okra. But I like fried squash more. Do you think I can go sue and picket Crisco - because obviously it's their fault I'm fat!

In case anyone doesn't know, there are these people, who are obese who have been trying to sue McDonalds saying it's McDonald's fault these people are fat. Right. These people? They SO need to have the ever-lovin' shit beat out of them.

I'm fat. And I'm cool with admitting that. On Saturday I bought a Sarah Lee apple pie. I wanted comfort food for my Yet-Another-Holiday-Away-From-Family, couldn't find the cornbread I wanted, the pie was on sale, I bought it, and as of today - Tuesday, I've eaten half. Have I done any sit ups? Walked any? Eaten extra veggies to offset the pie? Drank extra water? No. Therefore, fat. See, ME!!! I bought the pie. I cooked the pie. I ate the pie. I drank 2% milk to wash the pie down. But what the fuck, I think I'll just go sue Sarah Lee because it's obviously their fault.

Stupid people.

Ok, rant over :-)

~t