Speaking of, last night I caught the last 15 minutes of a show, on the Instructional Channel (see, I told you I was a geek) about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and it's inherient flaw - which he himself talked about. The flaw being that if self actualization were really the goal, then why don't more people achieve it? But to be honest I think alot of people try. They maybe don't label it as such, but how many of us out there are searching? We try new things, new hobbies, new music, new friends, new locations, so many things. But mabye only a few find the IT they're looking for? I haven't. Probably because I have no clue what IT could possibly be. And if you don't know what you're looking for, it's really hard to find the place to start looking. I think Elliott's found his IT. Don't believe me? Watch him when he's singing. I mean really look at his face. It's a combination of Joy, Exuberance, & Peace that you would never think could exist all in one exact moment in time, yet there it is and he basicly glows with it.

Previous to finding the Maslow show, I was watching a show on PBS called Our Neighborhood. Total opposite of Self Actualization I think. I had to change the channel because I was so disgusted. It was a show funded by one of the colleges - USCD or USD & it was about the future of San Diego & the issues of growth and affordable housing. San Diego ranks 2nd in the country as being the least affordable place to own a home. San Francisco is 1st. In SD, only 21% of the people with a SD zip own their homes. The rest rent - myself included.

In addition to the ownership issue, San Diego is also one of most racially segregated cities in the country. How bad does it have to be when San Diego is more segregated than cities in Alabama & Mississippi?

So the City Council hired a consulting firm and set up all these "focus" groups with people in various communities to discuss the issues of affordable housing. The group from Clairmont was the worst. They were totally opposed to affordable housing. This room full of all white people sat there, in front of the camara & said that affordable housing brought in the "wrong kind" of people. If someone couldn't afford to live in their neighborohood, well too bad. One of the benfits of having money was not having to deal with "the have-nots". The guy who made the comment about the "have-nots" said - as a review of his focus group - that it was great that they didn't have any renters in they're focus group because what "home owners are the 'haves'; renters are the 'have-nots' and they just have no concept of how to maintain a neighborhood." You know what buddy? Fuck off. Ugh.

So anyway. It turns out all of the "white" communities they talked to were opposed to affordable housing, the diverse communities in support. Even more distressing - the all white communities were opposed to public transportation. From another white guy: "To live in San Diego you have to have at least one car per household, maybe two. If you can't afford that then you shouldn't be living here."

No worries. As soon as I'm able, I won't be living here. WTF? I know why the South gets a rap for being full of Racists. But why don't we hear about these people on the news? It's racism just the same, they just using a green flag with dead presidents on it insted of the confederate flat. Same diff.

Here people disguise it as a social issue of wanting things to stay "safe". Bullshit. My apartment in Charlotte was probably 1% white. It was mostly black, some hispanic. And me, the white girl. Am I dead? Did I get shot, raped, robbed? No. Well, my car got broken into once, then stolen. But that happens in every part of Charlotte all the damn time.

I think those with a socio-economic advantage should use it to help people break the cycles that lead to crime and poverty instead of seperating themselves from it. Habitat for Humanity is a shining example of how shared-vesting someone with the joys and responsibilities of ownership can change not only one persons lives but at times communities. Hiding behing your gated community walls? You help no one but yourself.

And now down from the soapbox......

Pre-all that other stuff, I watched the finals for America's Next Top Model. Have so say, very shocked Elyse was cut before Shannon. Through the whole show Elyse excelled at everything. She blew everyone away in France, wasn't scared to take any risks, was extremely intelligent and well spoken. On occassion Tyra would say she was too skinny (like that's possible for a model). Tyra bitched about Shannon the whole time - she's too commerical, she's too safe, she doesn't take risks, she wouldn't do the semi-nude shots. Then ONE day the photographer thinks Elyse is condesending so she's out & Shannon is in? Right.

But I guess in the end I'm glad Adrianne got it. Elyse does have medical school she can go back to & she has a lot going for her. Adrianne had a poor upbringing & not a lot of opportunities. Her looks are pretty much all she has. So good for her that she gets to use them. If she'll just hire a vocal coach to learn how to not mumble, she'll be set.

Also, last night (busy night, huh?) I talked to Christina for about an hour. Our hour talks always seem like they're only 10 minutes. We never have enough time. But even if it had only been ten, her laughing at me saying "I'll strive to remember" would have still been (and still is) one of those moments that brings me joy beyond measure.

And now, not related to joy, my tumbly's rumbly. I'm going home.